Roadside Attractions

The roads around Vanderpool are the best motorcycle thoroughfares in the state. Twists and turns, climbs and dips, and stunning visuals around every corner. It only made sense that Allan Johncock, a brilliant Aussie engineer and two-wheeled racer, gravitated to the area. The museum houses his stunning collection. Sadly, Allan passed away in 2022. The museum is now appointment-only viewing.

If you need proof that “everything is bigger in Texas,” Buc-ee’s is it. No one can accurately describe it because the idea of a gas station/convenience store being a tourist attraction is too absurd to put into words. And yet, reasonable people carefully plot their trips to make sure that when they need to stop, they only stop at Buc-ee’s. Why not? The cheapest gas, the cleanest bathrooms, every road trip snack you can imagine, Texas-worthy meal options, and souvenirs of every type are all under one roof. We know that Buc-ee’s is national now, but it started here (in Clute) and will forever be ours in spirit. If you can pick, try the Luling location, which is the chain’s largest (for now).

Texas has many world-class art museums, but our most famous piece is in one of the state’s loneliest spots. Approximately halfway between Van Horn and Marfa on Old Highway 90, you and many others will find “Prada Marfa,” which is actually on the outskirts of Valentine, TX, population 134 and falling. The famous luxury brand cooperated with the work, but did not commission it. Instead, this genius combination of pop art/public art/land art came from the minds of Michael Elmgreen and Ingar Dragset of Berlin at the request of Ballroom Marfa. Very odd and very great.

Roadrunners are closer to humans than you might think. The birds mate for life after the male parades for the female with his head held high. If things go well, he brings the female food. Swipe right and meet at the coffee shop. Of course, as the cartoon made clear, roadrunners are speedy and rarely need to fly. They are clever enough that the species surely outnumbers humans in the deserts of the southwest. That abundance convinced the Fort Stockton mayor, Gene Cummings, to build (actually to order) the world’s largest roadrunner statue to welcome visitors. Since “Paisiano Pete” appeared in 1980, Las Cruces built a pop art version that is larger but nowhere near as majestic. Beep, beep!

Jim Bowie was a “bad man” in many senses of the phrase. A roadside attraction story is not the right time to delve into a historical figure’s political and moral complexities. For now, suffice it to say that Bowie, his famous knife, and the stand at the Alamo make him a larger-than-life figure in Texas. That fame is why he has a town and a county named after him. Of course, you get a larger-than-life memorial if you are larger than life. Twenty feet and 3,000 lbs. of knife certainly qualify. Bowie is a great town to visit. Use the knife as a starting point.

This one scores a ten in the “selfie-worthy” segment of our competition. Situated on Loop 410 near the airport in San Antonio, the boots have been the calling card for North Star Mall since 1980. But the boots were not designed for the mall. Instead, the work was first exhibited in Washington D.C. as part of Bob “Daddy-O” Wade’s campaign to export his beloved Texas culture through oversized art pieces. North Star won the bidding war at $20,000.00 at the exhibit’s end, which today looks like an absolute steal. It is hard to think of anything that says Texas more than these boots.

“Father of Our Country” actually applies here, as Sam Houston’s military and political leadership made the Republic of Texas a historical fact. Sam Houston’s life was enormous in drama and mystery, with the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. Unlike other attractions, the Houston monument is a genuine learning opportunity with an on-site museum. Nearby Huntsville has a great downtown and several other attractions for a longer stop.

The billboards are all across West Texas. The Big Texan was at the beginning of the eating challenge craze. Eat a 72 oz. steak, a baked potato, a side salad, and a roll in an hour and it is free. If not, it is $72.00. For Texas Ten, the attractions are the 60-foot neon sign featuring the Big Texan himself and watching others try to meet the challenge. We will take the petite filet in deference to our age, but that sign is our favorite in the state.

You know you have something when Ray Wylie Hubbard writes a song about it. About a billion cars pass the New Braunfels Snake Farm daily, and many stop in. The farm has grown beyond its roots as a reptile house with a growing number of larger animal exhibits in the back. It is a rite of Texas passage for families with kids between 2 and 12. The bonus is that I-35 is so slow in front of the Snake Farm that you can visit and reenter traffic at about the same position

We begin by noting the abundance of roadside attractions in the Panhandle, particularly near Amarillo. It must be the wind.

The Ranch, however, is the Queen Bee. It just celebrated 50 years of being a tourist magnet. The “road” part of the roadside attraction is the heavily traveled I-40. It helps even more that I-40 traces Historic Route 66’s path, so a fair number of people are looking for Americana.

A particular facet of Americana–the tailfins of 1950s Cadillacs–sparked the imagination of three San Francisco-based architects. Chip Lord, Doug Michels, and Hudson Marquez worked under the banner of “The Ant Farm” and looked for eccentric millionaires to fund their more avant-garde projects. They found enough in Texas to move to Houston. For Cadillac Ranch, Stanley Marsh 3 (that is correctly typed) brought the eccentric and the money. Stanley’s life did not end well, as he was involved in several lurid lawsuits. In the mid-1970s, however, Stanley was still Amarillo society. There was an opening for the “exhibit” and then not much for about a year.

Famed CBS road reporter Charles Kuralt stumbled on the Ranch, loved it, and gave the project a huge boost. More and more people began to stop and “participate” in the artwork. Today, you mark your visit by spray painting. In 1997, the work moved two miles and access became easier. There is now a constant stream of visitors and photographers (my effort is below).

One of the things we loved best about Cadillac Ranch is the power of art. There is no real political or cultural divide among the visitors from all over the world over the planted Cadillacs. Instead, there is just amazement and appreciation for what can happen when crazy architects meet crazy oilmen.